The Paradox of Integrity: When Conscience Demands Too Much
- John Coe
- Sep 8
- 3 min read
By John Coe, Iconic Journey in CRE
“The more you obey your conscience, the more your conscience will demand of you.” — C.S. Lewis
C.S. Lewis understood a truth that every seasoned leader eventually learns: integrity does not grow easier with practice; it grows more demanding. Once you commit to honesty in words, conscience nudges you toward honesty in motives. Once you act fairly in contracts, conscience whispers about fairness in opportunity. Integrity is not a plateau; it is a mountain that keeps rising.
But here’s the paradox: can integrity be taken too far? Can conscience become a tyrant—so exacting that it paralyzes decision-making or isolates leaders from the very people they are meant to serve?
When Integrity Becomes a Tyrant
On the Icons of DC Area Real Estate podcast, leaders across our industry have reflected on this paradox. Their stories show us that integrity, without humility and wisdom, can become a burden rather than a guide.
Lacy Rice — The Risk of Overthinking
Lacy Rice of FCP warned against turning every decision into a moral trial. He recalled an investment committee where a project with huge community upside was nearly abandoned because the leadership couldn’t get every ethical box perfectly checked. “If you make every decision a moral trial, you’ll stop moving,” he said. “Integrity matters, but you also need the courage to act with incomplete information.” Rice’s reminder is clear: integrity guides, but courage moves.
Matt Kelly — Integrity Anchored in Impact
Matt Kelly of JBG Smith pointed out that integrity cannot remain an inward exercise—it must be tested against outcomes. He spoke about his company’s responsibility in shaping entire neighborhoods: “Our responsibility is to communities, not just to our principles. Integrity guides us, but impact is what counts.” For Kelly, integrity detached from impact risks becoming self-absorbed.
Moina Banerjee — People Over Ideals
His colleague, Moina Banerjee, shared how integrity must serve people, not just ideals. Early in her career, she insisted on holding a joint-venture partner to rigid reporting standards. The relationship nearly collapsed. “We lead people, not ideals,” she reflected. “Sometimes doing the right thing means meeting people where they are, not holding them to impossible standards.” For Banerjee, integrity has to flex with compassion.
Vikki Kayne — The Trap of Perfection
Vikki Kayne, whose work in development has spanned decades, warned against confusing integrity with flawlessness. She described a deal where she hesitated so long to ensure every detail aligned with her values that the opportunity slipped away. “Too much focus on being flawless can keep you from being human,” she said. “People don’t want perfect leaders; they want honest ones.” Kayne reminds us that integrity includes the courage to move forward despite imperfection.
David Flanagan — Practical Integrity
Finally, David Flanagan of Clark Enterprises framed it bluntly: “If you can’t balance values with outcomes, you’ll get neither. Integrity has to be practical.” He described leading through a crisis where clinging too tightly to ideal processes would have cost jobs. Instead, he chose the path that preserved both people and principle. His story underscores that conscience must serve the real world, not abstract ideals.
Greene’s Law in Contrast
Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power provides a provocative counterpoint. Law 30: “Make your accomplishments seem effortless.” Greene suggests concealing the inner weight of conscience and moral struggle, because showing strain undermines authority.
But our Ethical Powers framework flips this law. Brad Olsen once said on the podcast: “People trust you more when they see you wrestle with the hard stuff. Authenticity builds more trust than polish.”
The ethical inversion of Law 30 is this: Don’t hide the struggle. Show the weight of integrity, because transparency builds trust.
The Ethical Power: Balance with Humility
The Icons’ stories show us that integrity must be infinite in aspiration but bounded in execution. The balance comes from three anchors:
Humility — accepting that you are in progress, never perfect. As Vikki Kayne reminded us, “people want honesty, not flawlessness.”
Compassion — remembering that integrity is for people, not against them. Moina Banerjee’s “lead people, not ideals” captures this.
Practical Wisdom — aligning conscience with purpose. As David Flanagan said, “integrity has to be practical.”
Conclusion
C.S. Lewis was right: the more you obey your conscience, the more it demands. But our Icons remind us that leadership requires balance. Conscience is not meant to be a tyrant, but a teacher. The call is to stretch toward integrity while remaining humble, compassionate, and wise.
Our reimagined Ethical Power might be phrased this way:
Stretch toward integrity with humility, compassion, and wisdom. Show the struggle, don’t hide it. This is how trust is built, and legacies endure.
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